gracious.

It's been quite a white since I've last updated this silly journal.
I think my last entry was last year and that's no good at all now, is it?

I'm pretty sure no ones really going to read this, maybe Chelsea, but thats probably it, hahah.

oh well.

I'm back in school again. My thanksgiving break consisted of work, chilling with Sabrina and chilling with Christian.

I woke up on Thanksgiving morning and found out that my mom wasn't there so I waited around till about two-ish. She never came home so i just left.

I spent thanksgiving with Christian, Josh and Christian's family.
I met his uncles, his cousins ( who are all totally amazing ) and his Grandparents.
It was a really nice get together. I've never really had a nice thanksgiving like that seeing as how my family's totally dysfunctional.

I'm pretty content with the way things are going.
I don't have a lot to work with, but I'm holding on and staying committed to what I have right now.

i need to go on a diet
no joke.

i went to the gym today.
hooray for exercise.

Man i haven't seen Valerie in like forever
i miss you bby :(

i haven't seen Sabrina in like 3 weeks
but y'know...she's busy
it's like she only has time to hang out with me when it's convenient for her.
so it's not like it matters anyways.

whateversss

so I wont say anything at all.
I think it’s for the better though.

I absolutely love how no one knows what I’m talking about Because I’m just so super clever like that.

Anyways, I’m fine. I’m grand, schools a breeze because im in regular physics and regular pre-cal. Fuck pre-ap. Hah, nah it’d just be way too much on my plate, I’m looking to just fly through my junior year, easy. So far, I’ve gotten my wish. I’m not so sure how things are going to turn out seeing as this is only the third week of school but all I can do is really hope for the best and be optimistic about everything which has proved to be working swell. I’m going to be as organized as I possibly can and try to actually utilize my free time. I’m joining just about every club comm. Arts has to offer (except Latin dance) and next year I’ll do P.A.L.S at Taft. Sounds like a plan. I’m taking video tech I so far I absolutely love it, also advanced multimedia. We did a project I really shined through with me and my photoshop glory, although I felt I did a half-ass job on it I got excellent responses to my presentation. It just makes you feel very great about it, really.

I don’t know what college I want to attend and it’s starting to get to me. I was talking to my friend Anthony and he was showing me everything that he’s done to get ready for college and just looking at what he’s accomplished completely amazes me because he’s so fucking talented. He’s just this amazing person; he’s published some books of his writing ( they’re just paperback books) but everything he says just makes so much sense and it’s just incredible how he can do so many things and still be as composed and fucking hilarious as he is. I really admire him, I really do. He’s going to pursue this dream career and just hope for the best but I know he’s going to go far because he’s just one incredible writer. I don’t know, he reminds me a lot of Frankie.

Ultimately I’d love to attend an art school but from what it seems I just really don’t think I could make a living off of art, I mean it’s a great proposal and I’d love to go to an amazing art school, but I don’t know if I could do it. The Art Institute of NY sounds amazing. Brookes institute of photography sounds remarkable, and Pratt just makes me so eager to go into art or graphic design or fashion design.


I'll just keep dreaming i guess.


so i made a personal narrative for my english class because i was slapped with inspiration//
feedback is appreciated, this is only the rough draft so don't be too harsh.
( Personal narrative )

thanks ♥

Today I drove in the morning at 8.
There was this terribly annoying white girl driving with us.
She had absolutely no experience. 2 thumbs down.
It was a horrible hour, we almost hit a couple of cars and corners. I think I could’ve gotten whiplash from her constant breaking.
Besides that It was a real ironic because the other girl in the car was one of bens friends that he had in Spanish or something. Her name was Ericka, haha she was real cool.
We just talked about school, Ben, and everything while that one annoying chick was driving. It was nice, hahaha.

Afterwards gene picked me up and I helped him pick cds on base. The whole thing came out to be $118, idk I was kinda surprised that he’d spend that much on CD’s. After wards he went to academy to get himself some new brown kicks to match his pants or something, he got some world industries they were pretty fly if I do say so myself.
We left academy and he was like, so where do you wanna get you new shoes at? I was like..what’re you talking about but he just insisted to get me something.
And after prodding around the whole mall looking for some decent 6.0 SB dunks
I finally just settled for these:
( Shoes )
with the addition of 2 pairs of empire pants, black and cargo. They’re amazing ♥.

When I got home to my astonishment my dunks didn’t fit well at all, they were a size too big, so that meant a trip back to the mall.

Anyways, I called edson seeing as we were supposed to hang out today.
I went over and just chilled with his little sister and him and then chatted with his mom. Sabrina came over and we got ready to go BACK TO THE MALL so I could exchange my shoes for a smaller size.

Edson picked me & Sabrina up with his little sister tanesha.
We parked and randomly say chello and Jordan in the parking lot and we all walked into the middle of the mall where Valerie and sam joined us. They left for their show and all of us wento zumiez.

They didn’t have size 6 so I guess I’ll just be stuffing my shoes so they fit, ahaha.
We walked around for a while going to various shoe stores because edson wanted some new shows too so went to foot locker, finish line etc etc. he got some gay nikes.

We went to pac sun where I bought these really cute bags.
( Pac-Sun Purses )

It doesn’t have the cheetah print, it’s similar to this one but it’s blue on the inside and has different designs on it, I couldn’t find the real thing but this is as close as it gets. Edson bought me one cause he owed me and I paid for the other one.

We just hung out for a while, ate, blahblahblah.

Went home and stopped by Miccy D’s so that edsons and his sister could borrow a dvd from that thing Sabrina and I went inside to get the hook up from Abraham since he was working and when we came out side edson was gone because his friend said that she needed a ride so yeah. Me and Sabrina were just stranded out there for like 5 minutes or so talking to Cameron and his other friends skating in the parking lot.

He finally came back but there was this big thing about leaving blahblahbkadhflkhag.
But ended up just leaving again to drop her off @ home because her fat ass didn’t wanna walk home holding whataburger.

Ahhh
Then I just came home.


thats my day.
yay.

Eventful.

The day started out as me waking up early thinking I was gonna work, but it didn’t end up that way.

I cleaned up the kitchen and a little in the sewing room and then sam called his g-pa and picked us up and dropped us off in the little strip mall on marbach.

Me and Sabrina just roamed around the little boys section the whole time finding pretty cool shit. Sabrina got this really cute pokemon shirt, a little boys plaid shirt, a yigioh shirt and a pair of agaci jeans for only like 8 bucks. I got a long sleeve yu-gi-oh shirt for like a dollar, good deal.

Jordan and chello met us there but me and Sabrina took too long looking at the clothes so they went to go look at the other stores while we finished up in good will. After we bought our stuff we went to sallys and looked at the fake hair ahahah it was pretty rad. Then after all that we all met up and Jordan drove to miccy d’s where we got the hook up from abe. He gave us like a shit load of food which was so fuckin down hahahah.

Yeah idk
Then sam had to go to work so he called his g-pa again and we all went to the mall

When we got there me and Sabrina saw Adrian. Man I haven’t seen that niggah in forever! Ahahaha but yeah adrain, ben Sabrina and me just caught up and blahblahblahbolahba..
We walked around the mall for a while and then me and Sabrina left the mall to walk to Michael’s to buy some youth sized blank tee’s to draw on.

Umm went back to the mall
Idk
Edson came we waited for sam to get out of work and then we went home.

man i wanna go school shopping so bad already.

i thought it was what i wanted
and i thought it would make everything better
even just for those few quick moments
like thing would magically go back to
how it used to be
in the old times
when we were so
in love
even though it was only last year
i know
its not ever
going to work out

because everything has changed.

and im pretty damn sure
i dont like the feeling.
hah!

im not really sure
what it is that i want now
i know i want something different
something thats lasting
something that i can go back to all the time
and know that its always
going to be there
no mater what
that they will feel the same way
about me
that i feel
about them
but it's always
too much to ask i guess

hah!

interesting.
good things come to those who wait, right?

I beat God Of War.
hah
i hate rain

im so bored.

I’ve been thinking
And I’m really pissed off because,
I know I always fucking rush everything.

Maybe that’s why everything just always falls apart.
Every.
Single.
Fucking.
Time.
Shit.

But y’know, it’s ok!
Because I make it rain on them hoe’s.

Things have been…ok.
Yesterday was bre’s sweet 16. Happy Birthday Bre! ♥  Yeah, it was at Pueblo Hall over there by ingram. I went to the mall to get a dress but ended up just getting this really cute shoes at charlotte rouse.
I came home at like 8; Me and Valerie were supposed to get there kinda early, but I got ready too late.
We ended up getting there at like 8:45 or so, we missed the dance and I don’t know, whatever.

The dance part was fun for the most part. I was getting krunk, if you know what me mean. Ahaha, nah but it was pretty cool.
Sam came later on, and so did Benjamin.

At 11 we all went to Bre’s for the after party. Everyone was all excited because they thought bre was gonna have alcohol. This one chick had like 3 friends over 21 that were willing to buy some for us because everyone was gonna pitch in, but it was already too late so we just ended up chilling there in the living room.

Nah but sam, Ashley and me just stayed up talking for like ever then Ashley left to talk to someone one the phone so me and sam just hung out with Jordan, little Lauren, maddie, and bre. Ahaha it was really effin funny like no joke they’re fuckin’ hilarious. I ended up just staying the night there cause me and sam just fuckin’ crashed out at like 5 or 6.

Everyone woke up and ate so of that bangin’ cake ahaha and yah I don’t know. We started watching Thirteen and me and sam left cuz he had work.

Came home
Fucking crashed again.
Slept all damn day.

Woke up, val came over
And I watched old episodes of are you afraid of the dark
Chyeaaa boii.
gangsta gangsta at the top of the list.

this is the happiest I've been...
in a long time.

every time i see him he makes my day,
i smile so much that my cheeks feel like they're gonna crack.
he makes my tummy turn and
every time my phone rings i hope its him
every things so much better;
when he hugs me
and
when I'm with him :)


I hope he feels the same way too.

Maaaan spring break was whaaaaaack

Most of the time I was just at Ingram or roaming the streets downtown with Valerie, Sam and Jake. It was pretty beast actually. Man I can’t wait for my friggin birthday so I can get an effin job. I hate having to rely on my mom to give me all this moolah that she works all friggin hard for. 

Today was pretty whack at the beginning. Me and Sam woke up pretty late cause we stayed up late trying to bend spoons like retards ahahaha, it was pretty rad thought, we’re nerds.

So anyways we woke up at like 12 or 1 and started getting ready for Abraham's gay-b-que. I didn’t wanna go because I knew that ass wouldn’t talk to us because he invited all his douche bag friends from ROTC. Like I thought, all they talked about was drill team shit so me and Sam just chilled out watching movies until Jake saved us.

He dropped us off and we waited for Valerie to get ready, they got chellolol0soasdohaewf and we left.

We spent a good 20 minutes looking for parking and bsa;gou jfngoiafk

After that we went to rivercenter and we got Steven to return Sam's game to get a whopping 5 bucks. So yeah oiawey;pt8uihrg’kaerg
Aerjhglks
Sadflgasdf
Bgvaerlghalkdfjgp’oadfgh

It was fun hanging out with everyoastuadkjasfone. But I don’t know something kept bringing me down, maybe they thought it was St. Dick’s day because they were being a major Dick wrinkle dick shit dick fuck asshole dick.

Went to Sabrina's and played wii afterwards.
Pretty beastin.

All in all today was fcking awsme.

p.s.
DO THIS SHIT.

1. Can you cook?
2. What was your dream growing up?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. What zodiac sign are you?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
9. Worst Habit?
10. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal?
11. What is your favorite sport?
12. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15. Tell me one weird fact about you.
16. Do you have any pets?
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena?
18. What time is it where you are now?
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience?
22. What color eyes do you have?
23. Ever been arrested?
24. Bottle or Draft?
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30. Do you swear a lot?
31. Biggest pet peeve?
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33. In one word, how would you describe me?
34. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Whats the point of talking? there’s nothing to say.

uggggh, I got a pimple :( it hurts. It's like on the side of my face so its not like it matters, plus I've been drinking a shitload of water, it'll go away, plus its like my pee is practially clear :) ahaha, cool.

I went recruiting today, at Rayburn. It was cool.
Don't ask me how my day was because you know that I'm lying.

fuck

I don't know what was wrong with me today, I just came home and felt like crying.
So I did.
I guess it just one of those days.

I haven’t felt like talking to anyone lately.
I just come home, do my homework, take a shower and go to sleep.





Well I better finish my homework...


...take a shower and go to sleep.


:(

I don't know. Just a consideration.
It prolly won't turn out that way, but I don't truly care much.

I've had a lot of alone time today, just thinking about alot of things.
I know what I have to do, but I just don't want to.

Made some stuff in photoshop, it’s reasonably decent. Mordy help me a little and recommended that I get rid of the headphone cord. I assume it made it a lot better. Thanks Mordy <3
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b253/vintagehero/music_bg2xD.jpg
some random shit for matt:
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b253/vintagehero/crap.jpg

I hate that I'm so Indecisive.
It fucks up everyhting.

ugggggh...

btw
I need help with math
I'm tired of failing already :(

p.s.
the ugly ass plumber fixing our water heater just checked me out :(

I think I'm gonna blow chunks

Ohhh joooy :)
♥

On Friday I went to Sabrina little shindig.
It was tres adorable. I actually got to play the Wii, it was great! :DAll the guys were there!! and yeah, it was fun!! I had alot of good laughs!! I miss them alot!! ahaha, aww maaan. Good times.

Saturday, I went ot the mall with Valerie, Sam, Jake, Chaz and umm...Bobby!! (Valerie's guy friend) ahaha, he's super cute!! ahaha. Yeah, Valerie end up going somewhere with Bobby so it was just us 4 so we went to Jake's house and just chilled out. I told my mom that we were going to the movies, but all of use were broke so we just stayed there. We watched like the beginning of V for Vendetta, but then that kinda boring so we played SSBM and Zelda :) theeeen jake totally asked me out, and yeah. Score! :D

Then Sunday I did the normal church routine and afterwards went to Dennys!! I got to see Jake so yeah, likewise I’m pretty happy, haha. He’s being like really super nice now, it’s awesome, even Sam said so!! Aww kjsarthiueryl;ejt. I’m figgin happy ahaha. I like him alot <33

Then I came home and randomly got 100 bucks as a late Christmas present from my dad.

Next week I’m getting my effin iPod.
Yay.

Im gonna cut off Sam's turtle's head!! AHAGHAGAHAHA!!

fuuuuuck

I hope things stay this way.

♥

So, still don't know what I wanna get.
Digital camera, or an iPod?

I'm pretty much leaning towards the ipod, buuuut a new camera sounds good.
either way, i have to work for an extra 100 bucks.

Hmmph, give or take a month or something, I'm feeling laaazy ;)

Today was rly nice <3
...too bad it lacked Starbucks...Thanks for forgetting Valerie!! >:)

So, today was rather, how can I say this...
Uneventful?

Yeah, that's pretty accurate.
Oooh well, ;)

I've been home most of the day, doing the usual.
Valerie Came over for a bit, till I had to head off to Church and do the whole Usher routine, blahblahblah.
Then R.E, talked my my friend Carlos for the most part, good times :).

Whatever.

Came home, ate a bit, and did homework for forever.

8:30 - Now , 12:20.

I basically re-taught myself how to do all this logarithm shit.
Kinda glad I actually did all my homework,
Maybe tomorrow I'll beast my Algebra test.
It's all worth it, because once I pass math It's gonna be allll goood.

Hello Car, goodbye walking.


Something tells me it's gonna be a super duper long week ;(

I'm Happy.
:)
</pointless>

They’re absolutely oblivious to this,
Makes you wonder.


They can just shove you in and out
Of this emotional pool;
Which only leads to disappointing frustration in your part,
Day in and day out; And it pains you to see:
doing so only brings them egotistical pleasure.
Only Because they’re a complete fuck-tard
So you be a sweetheart, wait until things get better
Even though they don’t know what they want.
So you wait, and hang around.
But you know things aren’t moving forward
and unavoidably they pull you down with them
Until you’re too deep to crawl back out.
And you’re stuck with this lingering feeling,
And there’s nothing you can do about it.
Making it so painstakingly obvious,
That things just may in no way get any better.
And you wonder how anyone can be so naïve;
And when you did nothing but what was expected;
And like always, It’s inevitably going to be, your fault.


Maybe he's just out to get me.
I'm sick of this

</emo>